It's a-me, the first a-post! Wahoo!

So I was racking my brain as to what I should write the first post about, the recent Titanfall Beta? The hours I have spent playing Assassin's Creed IV recently? The fact that I bought Strider for both PS4 and Xbox One just so I can get trophies and achievements AND cause I am dying to play things on both consoles? (Yeah, that's what it has come to),

Nope, I decided the first article I write should be about the first big game that I (and I am sure BILLIONS of people) played. Super Mario Bros. for the NES.

(Yes I did play PONG before the first Mario Bros. but I feel I can write more about Italian Plumbers on a quest to save a princess than I could about 2 big rectangles bouncing a white square back and forth for all eternity).

Behold! My gateway drug to the world of video games.

Not only did this introduce us to the most recognizable characters in video game history, this cartridge also showed us how a controller wasn't the only way to play a game. Duck Hunt came with the NES light gun and World Class Track and Field gave us the Power Pad and believe me, there will be future posts about both those things.

Some quick facts about SMB:

- Super Mario Bros. was released in 1985. (hey that's a fantastic year, since it gave the world Mario Bros, a very handsome blogger, and this)

- Shigeru Miyamoto was said to have thought of the idea for the game during a train ride where he watched the horizon "scroll by" and imagined a person jumping over the hills. You know, the man is a genius and I would love to just look out a window and think of a best-selling game like that...

(runs to window) It's cold, snow everywhere, and everyone is miserable. That can't make for a very interesting game. Can it? Guess so.

- SMB has one of the most famous (or infamous) glitches in video game history with the "Minus World". Where you pass through bricks at the end of stage 1-2 to magically be taken to "World  -1". It is identical to World 2-2 but underwater, and when you finish, it takes you back to the beginning of the level. You play the same thing until you lose all your extra lives.

See that? You do the same thing over and over again in an endless loop until you just die, or what Call of Duty players call:, "Prestiging".

The way you access purgatory.

The basis of the game is simple: run right for 8 worlds, stepping on and murdering whatever gets in your way to save a princess who probably didn't tell you she was going out and didn't bother to tell you which damn castle she is in. At least give us a hint, like a landmark or something, cause there are a lot of fucking castles that look identical around here and I am risking the lives of myself and my twin brother Luigi. We were playing a nice game of tennis and all of a sudden I hear "Save me, Mario". (breaks brick with fist, coin pops out) Well I feel better, and now have some money on the side.

I gotta do what for this bitch?

I wanna come back to a point here. Mario murders anything that walks in his path. Goombas (I don't know what a Goomba is but I knew as a kid to "KILL IT") were just walking to the left, minding their own business, probably just doing their job as "Professional Left Walker" and they get KILLED!

Mario then unleashes his inner Shredder and decides he wants to kill turtles as well, then fling their corpses at other things to kill them. Feels like I am playing Nightmare on Mushroom Kingdom Street.

Course, he could be imagining all this since he is eating mushrooms and flowers and spitting hot fire.

But there is one enemy who deserved the most untimely demise of all:

This fucker!

That's fine, just throw your garbage anywhere you see OH MY GOD THEY ARE MOVING!

Seriously, the Lakitu throws his shit on you, then the shit comes alive and tries to kill you and you can't do a damn thing about it. Even if you somehow manage to "kill" the Lakitu, he comes right back a few seconds later. Think of him as 8-bit Jason. Actually, the Lakitu is way scarier.

I could go on and on about this game, but it's stuff you already know. The characters in the Mario universe are, well, universally known. They help keep Nintendo alive in today's world just as they did back then. You have played a Mario game in your life and they are enjoyable, simple, and fun.

At least the princess will learn her lesson and not get kidnapped anymore.....right?